Mental health awareness

If you hadn't already noticed, this week is mental health awareness week. Glossy TV ads tell us we shouldn't be ashamed of having a mental health problem, that we should 'speak to someone.' We are told we are 'not alone' and that 'one in four people suffer from mental illness.' 

Well, you know what? We have probably never been more aware of mental health issues, thanks all the same. Those of us who are struggling don’t need to have our awareness raised. In my view, the problem is not lack of awareness, but a lack of suitable and appropriate support. 

Why is it, at a time when we have never been more 'aware' of mental health, that the conversation never seems to move beyond depression and anxiety? I'm not belittling these things at all, they're awful, they blight people's lives and they are rightly getting much needed attention. But what about those of us with other issues? 

You see, when we are told to 'talk to someone,' this assumes that the person who is listening knows what to do with what they've been told. In my experience, this isn't the case at all. My experiences of voice hearing combined with persecutory delusions are simply not palatable to most people. I've got to be honest, most people are freaked out and don't know what to say. For example, I told my husband the other night that my voices were instructing me to set myself on fire because I'm such a terrible person. I mean, what do you say to someone who's just told you that? Fortunately James has plenty of experience of helping me when I'm unwell, so he wasn't too perturbed. 

Most people, however well-intentioned they may be, feel out of their depth when we share our experiences. All this exhorting us to talk, telling us we are not alone and so on feels rather hollow. There's still huge stigma around 'severe and enduring' mental health problems, for example a lot of people still believe that people with psychosis are unpredictable and menacing. (I promise you I'm not!)

Living with schizoaffective disorder isn't easy. The medication I take dials down my symptoms, but it doesn't eradicate them altogether. I still hear voices, still feel paranoid at times and still believe that people can read my thoughts, put thoughts into my head or remove them. Finding a balance between 'reality' and what my brain tells me can be really difficult. Sometimes it'd be useful to reality check my more bizarre thoughts, but I daren't risk sharing them for fear of being seen as a lunatic. 

Awareness campaigns are not in themselves a bad thing; my complaint is really that they don't go far enough. Presently, the conversation starts and ends with the more 'relatable' conditions. There needs to be far greater awareness of less common mental health issues, combined with appropriate support for those who need it. 

More importantly (and this could be the subject of a blog post of its own), we need to challenge our toxic environment, which encourages us to feel unbalanced, distressed and creates a fertile ground for mental health issues to develop. 

A little update for you

Hello again and surprise surprise, it has been months since my last blog post! (That sounds like confession doesn't it?) Once again, I was full of good intentions, but did bugger all about them. I just thought I'd write a bit about what's going on for us at the moment.

Things are going ok. Most importantly, everyone in the family is in decent health. The boys are doing very well kidney wise, with no major concerns. This is especially good news for Joe, who sits his GCSEs in June. (Yes, really. He's nearly 16). Both lads are well, are growing like mad and eating us out of house and home. Normal teenagers, then!

I'm generally ok when it comes to my mental health, I just have to be careful not to do too much too soon. The difficulty I have is working out how much is 'too much.' It's a learning process and sometimes I misjudge it, but I'd rather give things a go and deal with the consequences than not try at all. I recently started doing some peer support with Mind. It's going really well, I enjoy it and I think I'm doing some good, which in turn makes me feel better about myself.

The only fly in the ointment right now is that I'm living with horrible pain from the arthritis in my knees. It's in my hips and neck as well (oh lucky me), but for some reason I can tolerate that pain much better. I feel like I have toothache of the knees, it's that same gnawing, incessant ache. As you might imagine, it's worse when I move about (especially going up and down stairs), but in a particularly cruel twist, it's also awful if I sit still for too long! So I can't really win. Driving is difficult, exercising is a serious challenge and sometimes even just pottering about is agony. Unfortunately for me, my GP doesn't seem to take the situation very seriously at all. They won't prescribe 'proper' painkillers (paracetamol and ibuprofen don't help) and they won't refer me to a specialist because it's 'only' osteoarthritis. I've had x-rays, which have confirmed the problem, I've had physio and I do the exercises whenever I remember, but that's about it. I feel like I'm stuck with it now and I dread getting older and more immobile. I don't want this post to be  a long complaint about my poor knees so I'll change the subject, but if any of you have any good advice or ideas about how to deal with osteoarthritis, please let me know.

As some of you may remember, we rehomed another ex-racing greyhound at the end of last year. As we approach the first anniversary of him coming to live with us in Yorkshire, I'm happy to report that all is well. He's a bit of a dickhead at times if I'm honest, but I love him. He's grumpy with other dogs, has form when it comes to chewing cats and is generally a total pain in the arse. However, he's also funny, loving and beautiful, so we forgive him everything. We named him Kuro (Japanese for 'black') and he's quite a character. He has his own twitter account (@kurothehound) if you enjoy reading about houndy exploits.

I still go to as many gigs as I can. I was at the Brudenell on Tuesday night to see Jesca Hoop and I'm back there again in a couple of weeks to see Elbow do a stripped back show. Then I've got Circus Wolves in November, Slow Readers Club in December and Supergrass in January. I'm hoping to fit a few more in before Christmas if I can.

All told, things are pretty good at the moment. Now if I could just get this knees business sorted out.....!